Shainne Hostalero

One of those days, can I just say? I slept 12mn last night right after fixing the electric fan. By which, my fault why it was broken and needed fixing at the very first place. So, I have accepted that. And the best thing that I can do is to fix it first and think carefully if I should purchase a new one. It's still working, though. Just needed a little love and care when using. *** My apartment is located at the top floor of the building. From here, I can see QC, Makati, and Ortigas (if my brain locator is working, right). What a good sight to see especially at night when it's dark and lights are turned on. It looks like it's going to rain and I feel sad everytime it happens. There's something about rain that makes me so melancholic deep inside wherever I am. Maybe because I'm a summer baby - was born in one of the hottest months (PH-based, of course). I don't know if I feel empty or bored, either way it starting to get the best of me. This could be one ...

Bagong buhay. Bagong pag-asa. Bagong bubunuin para makarating kung saan man papunta. Subok lang ng subok. Hindi sumusuko. Dahil pag sumuko, paano na? Ganun naman. Ganun lang ang buhay, ang mundo, pasaan pa ay magugunaw din naman kaya enjoy lang. Speaking of bagong buhay, nagsimula na ang road to bagong buhay (well, lagi naman nag-uumpisa. Nakailang bagong buhay na ko, sabi ko. Pero ganun yon. Walang sukuan!). Ang welcoming committee nito ay medical . Karimarimarim na kaba lang naman ang inabot ko. Last week, I was asked to submit medical results - check-up time! So bago pa man yun, kinakabahan na ko. Though alam ko naman na wala akong sakit or anything, except siguro sa masakit ang tuhod ko at may sipon ako na very slight. 'Di naman malubha, diba? Proud na proud si Miss Constipated 2016 dahil nakapagdala ng stool sample (kung paano ko nagawa ang lahat ng involved dun ay wag na natin pag-usapan), nagpigil ng ihi for 30 minutes para sa urine sample, kinaya ang blood extraction ng h...

Manila, Philippines | July 2016 Kung hindi ka na babalik, ayos lang naman. Siguro. Siguro sa dami ng mga salitang nasabi at hindi nasabi Siguro sa dami ng mga bagay na naramdaman at hindi naramdaman Siguro hindi na magbabago, sadyang hanggang duon lang tayo.  Kung hindi ka na babalik, mag-ingat ka.  Ingat ka sa mundong sadyang malupit baka madapa ka Ingat ka sa muli mong pagbangon sa mga oras na lugmok ka Ingat ka sa bago mong landas at maging masaya ka.  Kung hindi ka na babalik, maalala mo pa rin sana Ang bawat kuwento at salita habang nakasandal sa dingding Ang bawat galaw, tingin, at tunog ng tawa na minsa'y naging bahagi din  Ang pakiramdam sa mga sandaling hindi atin ngunit hindi rin naman sakanila.  Kung hindi ka na babalik, hayaan mo akong lumuha. Hayaan mo na ilabas ko sa mundo ang pagtanggap sa paglisan mo Hayaan mo na malungkot ako dahil wala ka na Hayaan mo na damdamin ko ang posibilidad na hindi ka na nga b...

I remember when I was young and looking up to you – and to all the things that you do. I get reminded when I’m in here, a little bit older, still looking up to you – and to all the things that you do. I’m so much skillful now than when I was eight but I still need you because you’re so much skillful now than when you were forty nine. I feel lost from time to time and I came to the realization each time that it’s part of growing up because you told me so. Maybe it really is true – that it’s part of maturing; or maybe you told me that because you don’t want me to feel bad about feeling lost, and you’re trying to make it sound like it’s just normal and I should just dig it in and continue. You were working in an office and you were pretty great on what you do as you provide me a great shelter, nice clothes, compelling education, and unconditional love. You were always there for me, you still are, even at times when even I, wasn’t there for you, and wasn’t even there for myself ei...

Photo from the Philippine Star (internet photo) November 6, 2013 was indeed memorable to the whole Philippines; the kind of memory that was far behind the good light and was way too painful to be remembered as Typhoon Yolanda (internationally named Typhoon Haiyan) a category 5 Super Typhoon hit the Philippines, particularly affected Tacloban City, Leyte. It devastated over 14 million people and 41% of it were children. More than 1 million homes were destroyed during the typhoon; 50 to 90% of the overall reported damage were health facilities and approximately 90% of schools and building have been impaired. The country mourned for all the people who died, families who got broken, and children who have been left behind. Some families were not able to be found, some of their members found dead and other were still reportedly harmed during the devastation. The Philippine Government, its agencies, non-government organizations and even international agencies and groups sent their he...

"The people who let me down will never ever be the same people who will lift me back up. So tell me, how are you going to lift me high up there? How are you different? In the first place, you did the exact same thing just like what everyone did - leave."

Gray areas. That's what we had. All of a sudden, I've become hopeful in life. I was grateful to the universe that you came along, but disappointed that you came only to shatter me back to pieces I believed I was done acing.  In the last three years, I'm not in any way thinking about relationships anymore and I never did commit again. Then you came and vouched for me to open up my heart once again. I was hesitant but then I gave in believing that somehow I deserve this. I was happy that finally somebody took the courage and bravery to take on the lead and get me out of my old life setup - not that I'm not happy, but at least somebody was willing to make me happier, or so I thought. Somebody made me realize that, in a way, I needed somebody. All of those, I thought, were for the better. They were. In all fairness. But something was strange. I didn't ask nor I annoy for something I knew the answers to - what are we; who are we; and, what are we for each other. ...