Shainne Hostalero

2017 gave me so much mixed emotions. No median just the extremes. I've lost some and gain some.  In March, I got engaged. Before the end of the month, I found out I was pregnant. It was a good start for 2017 and March was killing it. I cannot contain my happiness and everyone was just happy for me, for us. It was a blessing and I wouldn't want it any other way. In April, I celebrated my birthday. Passing on being an adult and waving to late 20s, it was simple and memorable not knowing that it was my last birthday with Kuya Denz - last cake from him, last greeting from him, and everything was just last. Nothing further, your honor. May was the saddest. Amidst all the safe pregnancy, it happened. We lost our dear Kuya Denz. It was heart-wrenching. It was unbelievable. Up until now, it was still a blank space. I couldn't imagine that I would be so sad to the point that anything else doesn't seem to matter anymore. I've been sad and spent fair percentage of my life in c

Do you remember? We were all bunch of college kids roaming around the campus trying to get ourselves together. Busy. Always rattling. Always crashing around - literally and figuratively. Condescending. Fake it 'til you make it. I was one of those busy students who has everything to do with literally anything. Paper works, rakets , org stuff, council whatever, etc. Name it. I was one of those running to make it to the next class at the same time having lunch. I've gotta squeeze my schedule and eat so I don't die. I was that kid. Now, I'm not a kid. In fact, I already have a child. I'm thinking, probably he'd be like me when he grows up. Isn't it amazing to think our lives can change in just 24 hours? Parang kailan lang tulog lang ako sa apartment ko. Mag-isa. Solo. Independent. Ngayon, wala na akong tulog. Hindi ako mag-isa. Hindi ako solo. What did I do with sleep for it to leave my entire life (for good)? I think, despite of everything that chan

In these challenging times, it is thrice as hard to find time to accept writing projects especially from new clients. Challenging as it may seem, I still find the time and I can still put my glorious multi-tasking talents to good use. (Taking care of a baby eats more than 70% of my time. 3 hours of sleep is considered a luxury. A 30-minute nap makes me feel my soul has been renewed for another lifetime). I'm thankful for clients, projects, and new opportunities. And it is always pleasant to read them thoroughly in my email. Nakakakilig. Ganern . But in the light of this undertaking are also projects needed to be turned down SPECIFICALLY the ones for school. THESIS as a perfect example. I'm a professional writer (apart from my marketing and communication career). As a professional, I sure know my ethics. In the angle, accepting commissioned THESIS is a BIG NO for me. I'm also a graduate student on top of everything I am right now and I also work on my term papers, re

Bosses can make or break us... and more often than not, they break us. Haha! Lucky are those who found comfort and friendship with their bosses. But for others who are struggling, have struggled, and will struggle, patience is indeed a virtue. I've been in various industries as a marketing and communication professional and as a writer. I've been blessed with different good friends I gained along the way. In fact, some of them are my former bosses/supervisors. But it wasn't always rainbows and butterflies. There were also some experiences that I don't wish to go back to even if given the chance. Like some of you, there were also times I cried at work because of too much stress and pressure. I know when we all are in our glorious self, we say that crying at work is a big NO. But hey, it can get a little rowdy sometimes. Stress, of course, is how we approach it, but most of the time it is unbeatable. Stress seems to have its own life and your boss appears to b

Photo from web It's been quite sometime since I shared a good read. I've been busy with a lot lately - family, motherhood, pregnancy, work, cooking, and studies. I'm currently finishing Crazy Rich Asians though which I'd like to share to you very very soon. Or perhaps share a new read that will benefit all of us. Talking Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life (2015) by Mark Goulston is a very timely read today. We experience a lot of encounters towards irrational and impossible people that sometimes we cannot seem to quit because... 1.) they are our workmates/classmates/colleagues, 2.) they are family and/or acquaintance, and 3.) they simply exist for all valid reasons even though they are a bit off sometimes (or most of the time?) Sometimes, we are the ones who are irrational and impossible. I think we all have our 'days.' We are not always okay to be with. Yet, we (personally, I) strive to be okay which makes a lot of

In a previous post, I've listed down few of the things to remember when doing your grocery shopping. After which, it will all boils down to... making your meal. I've become conscious about preparing food, storing them, products to choose, and the like. Since I've found my way to the kitchen, I started liking the 'cooking' experience and tweaking bit and pieces of different recipes in my own and my family's preferences, making it more personal and custom. I first thought cooking is hard and there's no way I would ever craft something from scratch aside from pre-heated and/or processed food - which I believe isn't healthy at all.  Reading is the answer. I think, I like reading more than watching, but if you prefer a quicker grasp of recipes from the internet, you can always resort to YouTube videos available. If you are a busy person like me (naks!), it pays to list down your menu before the week ends so you know what to buy. If amenabl

Doing the grocery can be tasking yet relaxing for anyone most especially for mothers. If you are the head chef of the family (like me hahaha), you opt to buy ingredients you favor and you spend so much time picking the best and freshest ones. Going to the grocery is therapeutic. You can pacify your urge to shop, thus, you can also create such excitement of preparing a meal from scratch. Sometimes, when we get too excited (yes, it's true) to shop, we often forget what and why we are in the grocery for. Hehe. So for us to be more guided, here are some (obvious) things to remember when doing grocery shopping: Create a list To save time (and money), it pays to create a grocery shopping list. In this manner, you can only select what you really need for your home and kitchen. You can also save loads of money just by purchasing the most important and needed stuff only.  This is doable especially if you are working on a tight budget or trying to save more. Allot time

The reason why I put 'frustration' is because it is the package - the real deal. We might sometime wonder if what we are feeling is just frustration or already depression. Me, personally, it starts with the F and eventually falls on to the D. It's hard to differentiate, specifically when you are taking too much. No one would ever exactly understand what you are going through when you are suffering from depression. Your friends may tell you nice words to live by, though it may help your feelings to be a lighter yet the 'emptiness' you feel is not sure to go away. We can't tell those who are/were depressed don't/didn't try to get better. We can't say that they didn't do everything they can to understand what's going on around them. We can't factually discredit that they didn't approach the reasons why they are feeling what they are feeling now... because they did. They did all the best they can. But sometimes, the 'feel

My very first kitchen essentials Truth be told, I'm a picky eater. I didn't like vegetables growing up and I always go for the usual - fast-food and lutong bahay  from the nearest carinderia. My lola, my mom, and my titas  are great cooks hence the pressure to know some of their recipe. And since I'm a picky eater, I tried cooking for myself (initially), from scratch, from ingredients I personally like. I grew up with my lola  acing the kitchen with her home-made dishes crafted from her inventions and experiments. I always watched her cooking but never really had the chance to navigate the kitchen until I went an independent living and... ahem. fell in love. Hahaha! I started from the most basic of all... frying! Of course, there goes the kids' favorite - hot dogs. Then it grew to luncheon meat, logganisa, tocino, and eggs. Hehe. When I was living solo, I tend to eat at fast-food restaurants or ~posh~ restaurants alone or with friends. I outgrew every little men

Will always be my favorite set :) As every Sunday is a Sunday to remember. We all couch and get lazy at home and probably watch boxing matches on TV with Papa. Every weekend can be filled with ice cream or spaghetti, and of course, softdrinks - oh how can we forget? For the past 40 days, everything has been so different. We are still not used to the fact that you are not around, well physically. And more, we will not be used about it all. They say, time will heal all our wounds and our longing. It can be lighter sooner or later but I don't think it will be forever gone. You will always be part of us and will always be dear to our hearts. No matter what the season is. No matter where we are and will be. I opt not to speak during the time of your wake when it is our turn to give you a eulogy. Because first, I can't do it. I have little to nothing of strength to tell you how I feel; second, I should have told you this personally when I got the chance to do so; and thi

The right time to update places I've been to is NOW. Hahaha! I've been slacking to post updates and reviews about provinces, sceneries, food, and other places I visited to this blog. I've been busy with my writing gigs, corporate jobs, and family life. But, it's never too late. Though this post won't make it for the summer cut, because it's now June and just a day left and it will finally be July, at least we can still book flights to Boracay without grilling ourselves too much. I visited Boracay for work. We had a photoshoot there when I was still connected with a hotel and it was during the Laboracay season. How pitiful coming to Boracay for work! Hahaha! But we did enjoy LaBoracay, of course! Since I'm a TITA, I was sleepy the whole night. Hahaha! I finally came to the acceptance that gone are the days when I can party all night and stay awake until 7 or 8 in the morning. For those of you who sort of 'feel' me in this case, you can st

Before the day ends today, I want to show my gratitude to the Lord above for giving us fathers that change the way how we perceive life in general. We are thankful for all the life's lesson and discipline our fathers bestowed and taught us, making us who we really are as a person today. I'm far off blessed to have my papa, dad, kuyas, and titos, who have been and still the foundation and the epitome of how real men should be. To the greatest man ever who didn't make me wait for anything, who showed me what unconditional love is together with the best woman in my life (mama), Papa. Happy Father's day, Papa! You are part of my every thought. Thank you for your love, understanding and guidance. Thank you for saving my life more than once, twice, or even thrice. I couldn't tell you anything more but thank you and I love you. I hope that you still have more years to spend with us here on earth because we haven't given back even just half of what you have of

I'm taking a bit break from writing, ooppsss, not really though as I'm still writing in here now. Maybe I just want to let me feelings out even a little bit. As I've told you, our family has gone through (and still going through) a tough time because of my dear uncle's demise. It was so unexpected. In line with that incident, I felt like I'm running against time and I need to do everything all out once. It's kind of tiring but I get the fulfillment whenever I serve my family good, whenever I see them happy when they see me, whenever I feel needed. I'm independent. I know how to be perfectly alone without needing anybody. And so I thought. I think, nobody should do it alone because it is sad and lonely; and by that, I don't mean you need romantic relationships to feel otherwise, I think what we need are good friends and of course, our family. Sometimes, I can't help but to regret every single time I haven't gotten to spend with my family. Wo

As we go through these difficult times due to a demise of one of our dearest family members, I want to take this opportunity to show my gratitude to all of you who wished as well and extended their deepest and sincerest sympathy for our family's lost. You are all have been dear to us especially during this time that we are experiencing extreme sadness and grief for this unforeseeable event. I'd also like to share to you things I've learned during the short stint of realizing how truthful and wonderful our Kuya Denz's life has been. He let us realized that no matter where you are or who you are in this life, it is always FAMILY FIRST. He served and supported our family all throughout his life until the very end. We know that even now we've lost him physically, he won't be truly be gone from our hearts for all eternity; and, as much as we are in pained for the end of his life here on earth, we are glad that he is in a much safer and happier place now enjoying hi

  2 days left and I'm saying goodbye to my first trimester. The first tri was full of worries and I think up until the end I won't stop worrying or I may be worrying even more. Haha! But I'm happy to report that I didn't experience much of the morning sickness, dizziness, headache and such. It was hard to distinguish whether I'm pregnant or just my normal self sleeping a lot. I'm a sleeper so it was just ~normal~.  We had a check-up last week and we heard the heart beat again via doppler scan. It was amazing. I was freaking out first because the nurse and the my OB couldn't locate the baby at first try. It turned out he/she was just shy. At 12 weeks, I'm kind of showing but been getting compliments that I just look full/ busog . I wish I could say the same on the next weeks and months to come. I'm feeling energetic and started gaining weight like I'm supposed to. I've gained a few pounds but I need to hit another 20 or more pounds as per my O

Dollars and Sex: How Economics Influences Sex and Love by Dr. Marina Adshade Reading through the contents of the book Dollars and Sex: How Economics Influences Sex and Love by Dr. Marina Adshade brings me a realistic point of view on how the majority are perceiving relationships these days. As a marketing professional who have been exposed to economics and had the chance to teach it too, I agree with the points of the book, objectively. But on the touch points, there are subjective fields to consider as well and thus, I know it varies from one person to another. Herein below are the points of the author and my views as we go along: In many societies, liberal views on female sexuality have led to more freedom. Philippines, I think, is starting to be one of those societies. Our values are conservative and female are expected to be homemakers. But as we rise and go around industrialization and adopting how other society does it, we become more open and accepting on how female

Dear Woman, I know. Each word from that heavy phrase stings right through your veins and questions every little thing you put up with to fulfill your role as a mother, as a parent, and/or as a guardian. You are a mother who chooses your family every minute of the day and yet you have been told that you are not the person who you are right now, a mother. Retracing your life to fulfill the hardest full-time job you can ever encounter in this life. There's no vacation leave, sick leave, paid leave or even holidays. You are on it until your shift lasts and there's no retirement with pension guaranteed. You are a mom. You are strong by far making choice everyday for your family, instilling good manners and right conduct to your children even if you have to play being the tough parent. You get less of love because you are sometimes stiff because you want them to learn, you want them to practice what they have learned and to instill realizations for them to grow. That is

I don't remember having a perfect skin. My skin is definitely not perfect though fair but not good. I was athletic and layas . I used to go to different places by air, land and sea and I go around UP, Manila Museums, QC Memorial Circle, and other parks in the Metro just by walking. I don't even like staying in cold places, I prefer natural breeze (that's how I grew up), I'm ginawin  by nature and I'm a summer baby. So that can explain why and also due to some hormonal thing. Nonetheless, there are days I feel and/or look pretty. Kahit minsan . Hahaha! During my first few weeks of being pregnant, I was okay. My skin is fine and believe it or not, I'm glowing. Naks!  But when I enter my 9th week into this pregnancy, my skin started to become dry. How frustrating! I had my first pre-natal check-up at 4 weeks because I'm early to know that I'm pregnant because I was always on the look out. Hahaha! So during that check-up there were a lot of things I shoul

I'm on my 10th week this week and I'm starting to feel big. (or I believe I should just flush out some poo poo from the inside). Everything seems to be stressful and I can't wait to wash away some of it. As I course through this pregnancy and happy to know that I'm finally ending the first trimester soon, I'm also glad to have consulted with my OB about my progress and she told me I was very good. Hahaha! She also told me that I don't need a follow-up ultrasound because I was happy to report that at 7 weeks, baby's heartbeat is at 143 BPM. Though there are a lot of problems arising, I'm still happy that there are still good things in the corner for me. My mom and I are in pretty good condition and I can quite feel that she's excited for me, she even offered to buy the baby some new stuff. Quite a big one from mom. Knowing it made me feel loved even more. The support and the excitement of my family, especially from both my mom and dad is really a b

Before we come to an end of April 2017, I would just like to thank all of my friends and my family for taking some time from your busy days to greet me on my birthday last April 22. As we get older, I think birthdays are often considered not as special as when we were still 7 or 18. Because, yes, we are getting older each day, each year and most of the time, we don't want it to happen. Yet, growing old is a privilege and getting wiser is optional. In this new year, I will become more than who I am, I'm now a mother which gives me another important purpose in this world. It wouldn't be easy but it will definitely be worth it. As I turn into another chapter of my life, I appreciate the value of family more. They're the ones who would not judge you for all that you are and for all that you are not. They're always going to be there because that's how real family is like. I thank the Lord for the gift of family. I thank Ross for being so thoughtful and doing ev

Nakakaiyak. Sa saya at sa lungkot. Minsan ba naisip mo din kung pwede kang makabalik dun sa dating pangyayari, sa dating ikaw, sa kung paano dati? Miss na miss ko kung gaano kasimple ang buhay dati. Simpleng bahay, masikip nga kung iisipin. Walang aircon. May shower pero hindi gumagana. Hindi malaki ang kusina. Nasa sulok ka lang natutulog pero masaya ka. Sobra. Si mama at papa nandiyan lang. Pag labas mo may makukulit na bata, nakakatawa, magulo, maingay pero sobrang may respeto at malambing. Gabi-gabi iniisip ko kung kailan ako makakabalik at gabi-gabi ko din kinakailangan tanggapin na hindi na ako makakabalik sa dati. Ang saya sa bahay. Lahat mahal ka. Ultimo alikabok mahal ka. Tahimik ka, ok lang. Wala ka sa mood, ok lang walang away, ayos lang yun. Walang nagiiskor kung may nagawa ka bang mabuti o wala. Walang nanghuhusga kung nagsungit ka o hindi. Pwede kang maging ikaw na wala ka masyadong iniisip na damdamin. Pwede mo gawin lahat ng gusto mo, suportado ka lang, walang sumasa

Hi anak! You are 6 weeks and 6 days today! :) 48 in days, 2 in months. I'm hoping to see/hear your heartbeat next ultrasound so I know you're okay there inside. Sorry if mama is stressed lately, must be the hormones anak. How are you doing there? I hope you are ok and doing good. I hope you are growing well. I can't wait to see you, anak. I can't to share your stories with my friends. I'm so giddy to see you. Mama Tita is also excited for you. I hope you can grow up with her like how mama did. I promise you'll learn a lot of things. Kuya Derenz, Ate Reeza and Kuya Charles are there too. You will be well-loved there. :) just give me a hint if you're not feeling ok ha so we can ask our OB what we can do. Mama is still at work as of this writing. I'm feeling a little melancholic just by waiting for you. Mama needs a big hug, I wish you can be physically here to give me that much needed hug. I love you anak. Just hang in there. Love, Mama

I miss you. More than you can ever imagine. Remember when I was little and you sing to me then I always cry because your song is so melancholic and it made me feel like I will lose you. I always want to go back to that everytime. Those clear memories when I was little and having a hard time because there were so many things in our lives that I couldn't understand but I should. You always tell me that someday I will be happy, I will be number one, and I will deserve it just as long as I will believe. I did believe that, mama. And up until now I still do. Every night I cry because I miss you. I miss your smell, I miss your hugs, I miss how you understand me and not being angry at me whenever I throw tantrums and whenever I'm just quiet. You always know my heart's desire. You always know what's inside of me. I miss you mama. You're my comfort. I'm sorry for all the times I didn't spend with you. I'm sorry if I can't provide more for you and papa.

Valentine's Day is not for everyone. It is true. As the day gets closer and closer, we often think about what's going to happen (if you are taken and in a happy relationship) or how you will skip it and fast-forward to the next (if you are single or in certain situation, whatever that is). Valentine's day is not only for those who are happily in-love or for group dates with your group of friends to celebrate life as single individuals; the day is also a test on how much stronger you are by means of what you can endure if you feel otherwise  (hahaha!!) or if you are going through something more important than flowers and chocolates. It is also a test to your patience on how much longer could you still wait for that marriage proposal you've been longing for, flowers and/or chocolates that were promised to you (or you expect - ayan kasi ); or a test on how you will keep your composure as a mother by which Valentine's day have long gone from you and your partner'

I have been in this phase for the longest time. It's not new to me and probably, it will not be a question for me how I will do it. Yet, after all, I felt like I'm being renewed in life. And yes, no one's counting how many takes you've done and surpassed to make a beautiful film; that well in fact, your bloopers are what makes it more fun and exciting. My journey in life was never easy and it will never be, I know that for sure. But there is something definite about it: I will get tougher, stronger and wiser. That goes without saying (even though I cry myself hard sitting on the toilet and making  life's decisions in the shower.) My career had taken the flight out; high up the ground. I achieved more than what I even expect from myself. I was a manager at 23, a department head at 24; indeed an achiever at a young age than the ideal manager/department head time. While some are just finishing their undergraduate studies, me on the other hand is already spearheading