Shainne Hostalero

When you have found and lost something, have repeated that cycle for several times and finally stick to the 'found,' you definitely want to cut all modes and reasons why the universe should not need to proceed to turning it upside down again. You will do all sort of things to blunder why you are deserving for that single 'thing' or 'person' you can be grateful for the rest of your life. And you might say the battle still continues or the battle is yet to begin again. But you know that it's not a battle, it's not a war, and you can't even identify it entirely, what it really is puzzles you. None of those words you know might be suitable for the gesture.  You'd like to think that there's really something wrong with you, still. You will blame yourself again and again and you will lose your self-worth one more freakin' time. You don't want to, of course. You can't help but think, that one day you'll wake up and the univers...

Years ago, I met a guy. What we had, what we have and going to have, I know for sure, is and will be amazing no matter what the weather and rough the road is and will be. That I fell in love with him is not a myth. My love for him is an elemental part of a certain space. And I was very surprised to discover that I have such capacity to love someone that way. He is the one I would like to give the last piece of everything I have, even the last fry. He better damn refuse when it comes to that last fry, though. I write this because I want to let him know how much I value him and I'm hoping he won't be annoyed. I promise to be kind, always. That being kind means, in this context, is that I promise not to be annoying. I can't find the words to tell him that he is worth far more than any thing bought somewhere. And he is worthy of my every second, minute and hour, even at the baddest state of the sphere. He is worthy of every milli ampere my universe battery has. He is on...

Thanks to my good friend for this. I say thank you for your kind words! You made me feel so good! *** I saw Shainne the first time in a state university - she wasn't a student there, she was just sitting there (according to her). She indeed wore just shirt, pants and sneakers, her hair on a pony tail, a big shoulder bag and that was just it. But she looked so different, she looked like she should be somewhere else - partying or drinking, maybe. Shainne, I thought, belong to the maarte and sosyal  ones. After that encounter, she showed me the opposite of what I have thought of her.  She is very simple and the one thing I wasn't wrong about my impression of her is, she has class. When you look at her, you will know she's smart. Shainne is the kind of woman you want to be with, you will crave to be with and you will be happy to be with.  She might be quiet at some point but when you get to know her you would know she is animated. She can make fun of anything un...

We are embraced by the will of the motherland to free us from anyone who claimed before us. We are nurtured and equipped by our own spirits, full of nationalism and the fervor to fight. We are colonized, we are in mixed of cultures and religions. We are the country that was mold by the power of its own people to be united as one. Today, as we celebrate our independence, questions might be bugging us... are we really free? It has been declared, it was written in the history, but are we really free ? Or are we our own prisoners? We are free from other nations but are we free from ourselves? Do we make our own detainees? Mournful to think about but it's true. Observe we must. The outtakes of the government, the despairing circumstance of graft and corruption, and the various occurrences this Republic underwent that didn't serve its people. We are declared free and independent yet we suffocate ourselves by our own agendas that wouldn't serve us at all. Predicaments of ...

I was then so young, about seven or eight and I still can remember how the rivalry works or perhaps if not the rivalry, a certain conflict that every neighbor goes through. Back then, I was not really paying attention and I did not know where and how it all started. I have never heard his voice, or maybe just once, when he was trying to shoo me away from their backyard. I never had a conversation with him, never. One day, I saw people outside of their home, doors and windows were all open and there were lights everywhere. I saw that it was a wake, someone died. The coffin was inside their home with flowers and sash, Mang  Ben, as we all call him already bid his goodbye.  I just have few encounters with Mang  Ben - when I was a kid, a college student, and the last would be when I was already working. I just heard he was hit by a stroke, maybe two or three years ago but he recovered. Sometimes, I saw him walking around the neighborhood wearing his blue or green slip...

Many of us are still hoping that this catastrophic saga will end; but we just can't seem to be convinced that it will be over soon. We are hooked; the people involved in this case felt like celebrities - having the public attention, concerning about the ratings and faces on the frontpage of every newspaper, feeling like stars and surely is, the apple of everyone's eyes. Well, in fact, this is true to life and not some kind of fiction. While we can't get our money back, we keep on spending more. Spending more for their health care, security services, hearings/trials, everything that they need and yet we can't get the truth. Shame that these politicians are on their positions doing nothing but spending the country's money for their own good, yet they are given consideration on everything. They bought properties - house and lot, vehicles, and other personal stuff while many of us Filipinos are lying on the streets, still recovering from the typhoon that hit us, luc...

In the middle of a work-day someone will try to put up a conversation that goes: Friend: How's adulthood treating you so far? Me: Didn't you get the memo? Adulthood is horrible. F: But you are one and you know a lot about it and about stuff, in general. M: Yes, you're right. I know, a little... but do you know that I wish I didn't know the things I know now? F: And why? M: Because it sucks. When you know a lot of things, you also know that what you know isn't enough or you know that you actually know nothing.