Shainne Hostalero

I'm saying goodbye to you November, you've been so intense and actually nice to me. I know each moment all I could think is how stressful life can be. You proved to me that I was wrong. Life is fun, life is good, all I need is to get along. My heart is pounding, jumping, gliding. Thankful for each day that you made me feel like flying. Maybe hosting jobs can pay the bills. Articles can take the hills. With pencil, eraser and sketch pad on the table. I think I would be able to fix this life and won't pop it like a bubble. I'm saying goodbye to you November, you've been so intense and actually nice to me. I love how each day went well and free like a bird flying high, higher than a tree. Thank you November you made it so Weee!

I am sitting down, wibbly you can say I want to eat pizza like this day is a holiday I am bored to death but conceptualizing areas of emptiness I am lame I know yet I could be on the the top of my awesomeness Pen isn't fine and thoughts are scattered Just like my life now I know it's shattered Messages and calls are in a mute level Wondering whom to tell about my life that's swivel Devastated and dull thinking of skull The boredom is awesome make me feel foul Programs are slow, contrary to Need for Speed Evaluating my thoughts like planting seeds All alone in the corner pensively looking at the chair Absorbing life and thinking if it's fair Demeanor won't let me down if I will care This love I feel, perhaps, I'm willing to share Famishing for acceptance Longing for guidance This path I'm taking could be lack of substance Though I'm down, I know I'm strong.. Although I'm bored I still know to get along.

(Thursday, November 17, 2011) It was a lazy day and I really wanted to sleep, so what happened to "I don't care if I have work tomorrow, I don't want to sleep yet.. Online games for this Wednesday night and I can't stop thinking about Skyim" tweet? So my eyes and my mind were paying for the stubbornness of last night... but one thing remained constant.. I still can't stop thinking about Skyrim, I badly want it. This OJT thing is quite fun, just balanced or maybe there's really something wrong with my inner self (I guess, I need to have fun). Waking up early each day (which is fine because I'm now a morning person convert), heading to QC every morning, walking a really long way, eating lunch alone and thinking about my dreams and how screwed I am each day. I should be good at work for me to learn more and apparently get a good grade. Perhaps, the reason why I feel this way is because.. I miss school. I super miss school. I miss my friends, my classm...

It's raining outside, and actually pouring gallons and gallons of rain water inside me. It's early in the morning, the requirement is to start the day so right. Well, I guess, this is right for me. (I've been checking myself everyday if I'm doing good or if I'm just pretending to be one.) The unforeseen events were evil, then with that, I did not know how to handle the shenanigans of life. For now, I could say I'm okay, though, I can't help but to think about those stuff that I really wanted to be on their perfect time and place before. I think the world did the right thing for them as well as for me.. 'cause if not, maybe I'm not smarter and stronger than I am today. It's already November, it's been a year since the journey of pretending and complicated to be "us" started (and actually over). I thought I was happy, actually I've been happy, really really happy.. during the first 5 to 6 months or so. Perhaps, there's r...

I was so addicted to this game, Bust a Groove. My cousins and I used to play this game all day all night when we were younger ; so I therefore missed all the chances to grow tall - by sleeping during the afternoon or to have siesta , that's why right now I only stand 5'2'' hahaha. Nevertheless, I enjoyed Bust A Groove 1 and 2 and the old Playstation (Playstation 1) so much. I'm missing all the characters (my favorite characters were Kitty-N, Frida and Shorty hee hee) and different stages including the songs they used to play on each character stadium. Nostalgia, you're everywhere.

I couldn't understand myself, when I'm stressed I want to be relaxed, when I'm relaxed I want to be stressed. Oh wait, I'm normal. This is a sign of real individuality, because I know normal human beings are being like this sometimes, or most of the time, depending on the individual. I'm stuck at home, craving for something new and enjoying the internet so much. I'm fighting the paroxysm of boredom, and I'm currently maximizing the use of my books here at home. I don't want to be a like an automaton just because I don't have anything to do, that's why instead of being stuck and being such a statue-like stuff, I'm feeding my mind for me to learn something really different from all of those lessons and lectures I had in school - from my professors and instructors. Aside from reading books, I'm also engaged in watching a lot of shows and news programs on TV this past few boring days of mine. Those news made me sigh, sad or even be peeved. ...

Clinging to the bum life with nothing to do is not fun anymore. I think I'm bored and I can't wait for a new activity to fill in my life. This somewhat independent life is hard, not all the time you have your friends with you to talk about anything you really want to talk about, plus these nerd ideas or thoughts of mine aren't tolerable after all. And now, I'm on the emo side, I guess no one understands me. Hahaha! This is horrible. I am not used to create tight bonds with the couch, home floor and the kitchen feeling all day. I want to be busy again. I've said this before: Being stressed is better than being bored, and I know right now, indeed it's true. Well, perhaps I need a good friend that can resist and tolerate all my absurd demeanor and can relate to all the nerd things that I'm currently processing in my mind. I am sure about my innervation, I want this to be clear: I am not sad, I am just bored, and that two shows a lot of difference from each ot...