Shainne Hostalero

Before we come to an end of April 2017, I would just like to thank all of my friends and my family for taking some time from your busy days to greet me on my birthday last April 22. As we get older, I think birthdays are often considered not as special as when we were still 7 or 18. Because, yes, we are getting older each day, each year and most of the time, we don't want it to happen. Yet, growing old is a privilege and getting wiser is optional. In this new year, I will become more than who I am, I'm now a mother which gives me another important purpose in this world. It wouldn't be easy but it will definitely be worth it. As I turn into another chapter of my life, I appreciate the value of family more. They're the ones who would not judge you for all that you are and for all that you are not. They're always going to be there because that's how real family is like. I thank the Lord for the gift of family. I thank Ross for being so thoughtful and doing ev...

Nakakaiyak. Sa saya at sa lungkot. Minsan ba naisip mo din kung pwede kang makabalik dun sa dating pangyayari, sa dating ikaw, sa kung paano dati? Miss na miss ko kung gaano kasimple ang buhay dati. Simpleng bahay, masikip nga kung iisipin. Walang aircon. May shower pero hindi gumagana. Hindi malaki ang kusina. Nasa sulok ka lang natutulog pero masaya ka. Sobra. Si mama at papa nandiyan lang. Pag labas mo may makukulit na bata, nakakatawa, magulo, maingay pero sobrang may respeto at malambing. Gabi-gabi iniisip ko kung kailan ako makakabalik at gabi-gabi ko din kinakailangan tanggapin na hindi na ako makakabalik sa dati. Ang saya sa bahay. Lahat mahal ka. Ultimo alikabok mahal ka. Tahimik ka, ok lang. Wala ka sa mood, ok lang walang away, ayos lang yun. Walang nagiiskor kung may nagawa ka bang mabuti o wala. Walang nanghuhusga kung nagsungit ka o hindi. Pwede kang maging ikaw na wala ka masyadong iniisip na damdamin. Pwede mo gawin lahat ng gusto mo, suportado ka lang, walang sumasa...

Hi anak! You are 6 weeks and 6 days today! :) 48 in days, 2 in months. I'm hoping to see/hear your heartbeat next ultrasound so I know you're okay there inside. Sorry if mama is stressed lately, must be the hormones anak. How are you doing there? I hope you are ok and doing good. I hope you are growing well. I can't wait to see you, anak. I can't to share your stories with my friends. I'm so giddy to see you. Mama Tita is also excited for you. I hope you can grow up with her like how mama did. I promise you'll learn a lot of things. Kuya Derenz, Ate Reeza and Kuya Charles are there too. You will be well-loved there. :) just give me a hint if you're not feeling ok ha so we can ask our OB what we can do. Mama is still at work as of this writing. I'm feeling a little melancholic just by waiting for you. Mama needs a big hug, I wish you can be physically here to give me that much needed hug. I love you anak. Just hang in there. Love, Mama

I miss you. More than you can ever imagine. Remember when I was little and you sing to me then I always cry because your song is so melancholic and it made me feel like I will lose you. I always want to go back to that everytime. Those clear memories when I was little and having a hard time because there were so many things in our lives that I couldn't understand but I should. You always tell me that someday I will be happy, I will be number one, and I will deserve it just as long as I will believe. I did believe that, mama. And up until now I still do. Every night I cry because I miss you. I miss your smell, I miss your hugs, I miss how you understand me and not being angry at me whenever I throw tantrums and whenever I'm just quiet. You always know my heart's desire. You always know what's inside of me. I miss you mama. You're my comfort. I'm sorry for all the times I didn't spend with you. I'm sorry if I can't provide more for you and papa....