No, this isn't cheesy.

Valentine's Day is not for everyone.
It is true.

As the day gets closer and closer, we often think about what's going to happen (if you are taken and in a happy relationship) or how you will skip it and fast-forward to the next (if you are single or in certain situation, whatever that is). Valentine's day is not only for those who are happily in-love or for group dates with your group of friends to celebrate life as single individuals; the day is also a test on how much stronger you are by means of what you can endure if you feel otherwise  (hahaha!!) or if you are going through something more important than flowers and chocolates. It is also a test to your patience on how much longer could you still wait for that marriage proposal you've been longing for, flowers and/or chocolates that were promised to you (or you expect - ayan kasi); or a test on how you will keep your composure as a mother by which Valentine's day have long gone from you and your partner's system (or from someone dear to you if you are a single parent), or to whoever you are who share the same feeling with more than 50% of us in the whole world - with all the pressure and tension of social media. Wag kasing browse ng browse sa social media, please lang. Magdeactivate na muna this week, mahal magpaospital, mahirap pumasok kapag namumugto ang mata (kung sakaling mag emotional breakdown ka).

Hearts' day can make you feel happy, excited, angry, bitter and sad. Happy because of a well-thought surprise by a loved one, sad because of circumstances that are truly out of your control and appears to be timely to that one day you've been waiting for. You might want to continue feeling bad about it, but you're also torn to the fact that what better can it cause you if you feel so emotional about it as if this is the first time you've ever felt something like it; more especially if you've never experienced the mushy Valentine's celebration like others. You can turn bitter about it, it's normal. You've been waiting that perhaps this time around it'll be a little different from the usual, but it turned out the same as the many years that have passed (due to more important circumstance of course. Everything has a reason, perhaps?). Which led you to the most engaging thoughts like, "Guuuurl, hindi ka pa ba sanay?" "Para ka namang bago ng bago sa luma." OR encouraging thoughts like, "Hindi ka naman nag-iisa. Madami din kayong walang ganap this Valentines day." "Some people have it way worse than you do." "At least hindi ka gagabihin ng uwi, may pasok pa kinabukasan," "Better luck next year, ate girl."

But I get you, no matter how encouraging and positive your thoughts are for Valentine's day, at the back of your head you're still wishing for some good night with your special someone (or you want to have a special someone if you're single as of the moment. Parang Lord kung hindi siya para sakin, eeeehh sige na naman siya na!) and hoping that those things you've been waiting for would happen. But, sorry guuuuuurl, it's not going to happen this time around. Probably you can swallow the hope and accept that you should get used to it so you can stop hurting yourself in the long run. Each hope and expectation can burn you in the highest degree possible but I know you think of it the same, that... there are bigger things in our lives than this Valentine's day. Valentine's lang yan, malayo sa bituka.

 I've been in long relationships before and never did I experience a Valentine's day celebration. It was an ordinary day. No flowers, no chocolates, no cheesy words. I get greetings at the most, and that's just it. I helped my guy friends to craft their own Valentine's day surprises. I gave pointers and advice on what to give especially if their girlfriends are closed friends of mine. But no matter how much I know about gifts, surprises, simple notes, simple gestures and LOVE in general, Valentine's day is not for me. Whether I'm in a relationship or not, the day has its curse. The universe won't allow me to celebrate. Ewan ko ba diyan! Wala naman akong atraso sakanya! As far as I know I'm an advocate for the betterment of the environment, this nation and its people! Ano bang problema nitong universe na 'to sakin? Sobra na ah! Gusto mo ba nito magsuntukan nalang kami sa labas?!

But as much as I want to throw a fist fight with the universe to finally get even, what would that make me? What would I even achieve? Nagsusumamo nalang ako na please, tama na. Hindi pa ba quota? Over quota na ako in the last 9 years. Ano bang alay ang dapat? 

After all these, I'd like to remember that there are still good things I did in life and to other people to deserve ~somewhat~ goods things (kahit konti lang, please), not just on Valentine's day but on days after that. I don't want to be bitter and sour-grape about stuff but I'd like to begin embracing and accepting it even more that Valentine's day is not for me. There are more days allotted for our lives. As we mature, maybe days like Valentine's day would not matter that much compare to how eager we are about it at this point in our lives.

There are a lot of other occasions I aced. It matters that we are sad today or a few moments in a day yet it also matters how we want to face the succeeding days to come. Life is even harder for other people yet here we are grieving about our Valentine's day like it's the only thing that has weight in our lives right now. It's a big challenge to condition ourselves to be okay even if we know that we are not, alam ko yon. Parang fake it 'til you make it, try and try until you die...este succeed. Condition yourself to choose love over hate, to choose happiness over sadness, to choose sleep over bickering the ones who had their Valentine's day celebration. (Masaya nalang ako for you, guys! May araw din kayo. Char!)

Immerse yourself to good things even when you are alone. You can opt to cook dinner for yourself at home, take long a long shower, put some nice mud mask on your face to rejuvenate your skin, or read lessons for school (dahil mas importante yata na pumasa ka kesa sa Valentine's day).

Someday, somehow, you will have your wonderful and memorable Valentine's day celebration. It's just not this year, maybe next? Don't forget to tap yourself on the back after surviving this emotionally-crucial week, you deserve that congratulations and of course, a drink or two; a burger with fries. Come on, eat that cake! ;)


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